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A new grandmother. Up to this moment I'd always defined myself by my work first; Executive Director of a film production/distribution company, Dean of Admissions at an art school, educator, gallery director, Artist. My working life is exactly that and I know I will be working at something that interests me till the day I die. Secondly, my sexuality and the men in my life define me. While I loved my daughter, motherhood did not define me and marriage was suffocating. It was just something that happened then I carried on with the business of my "real" life. The birth of the grandchild caused an explosion of feeling that I had not allowed myself before. The pride in my daughter's ability as a mother, the wonder at how beautiful they are and how satisfying to know that these two incredible beings are linked to me has been the ultimate defining moment.